Keep sharing our content, and pass it on to your friends. You never know who could use the advice. Pretty much everything that we share with you are things that have worked for us personally, or that have been passed down to us by a friend.
Also, Make sure you sign up for our mailing list by entering your email address using the web view (this may not be available in the mobile view). Once again friends, Thank You! - The Warrior Family
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The cold shoulder
One of the hardest things to maintain, and usually one of
the first things that falls apart in a relationship is communication. Whenever
we get upset with someone, we are often quick to give the cold shoulder, and
bed down next to each other without saying our routine “goodnight”, or the “I
love you” – but why? Not speaking to the person we care about most is the exact
opposite of what we should do when
times are rough. However, if you’re like me, this can sometimes feel like one
of the hardest things you could possibly do.
The TDY Backburner
In the military community, having to go on temporary duty
status (TDY) usually causes several mixed emotions in the household. Much of
this is because of how easy it is to lose focus when you are removed from
what’s most important to you, and are required to perform exceptionally well
for a school, job, or any other task that you can think of. Going on TDY
usually involves you having to go out of town, staying for a period of a few
days to a few weeks, and typically requires more than one person – so
naturally, once the job is done, people are going to want to hang out, and talk
about their experiences.
My most recent experience with going on TDY was attending
the United States Army Drill Sergeant School, and I’ll be honest, I wasn’t on
my best behavior. After class was over, I’d study, do some exercise, and then
go out to have dinner with my friends. Initially this was ok, until the dinner
bill started stacking up; the phone calls home were less frequent; and what
should have been my main priory (my wife and kids) had been placed on the TDY
back burner. This, my friends, was no
Bueno!
The end result was a very cold atmosphere to say the least.
Conversations were awkward, car rides were often too quiet, and I had a hard
time enjoying my family, mainly because I felt like such a dirt-bag for
treating them this way. This was
especially true when I could see just how much my boys had missed me, THEY WERE
ALL OVER ME! My wife, however, was not the happiest.
Why she is better than me
The awkwardness continued for a few more days, and we
eventually hit somewhat of a breaking point. That is when my wife did something
that probably saved our relationship, and showed me exactly how dedicated she
was to me as a wife.
In the past, we have been blessed with the opportunity to
attend many marriage seminars at the expense of the military. My wife and I
would volunteer to go to these as often as we could – we both seemed to
understand the importance of educating yourself of how to keep a marriage
strong. One of the tools that we picked up at these seminars was shared to us
by another couple. Whenever these two would have problems communicating, they
would buy a card at the store, and write a message to their spouse stating why
they loved them that day. When they were done, they would hide the card
somewhere creative so that at some point throughout the day, the other person
would find it, and be reminded of how the other felt about them. This would do
several things:
- It opened lines of communication between the couple
- It would brighten up the persons day
- It shows that the person leaving the message is actually WILLING to put forth some effort toward strengthening the relationship
Often times, that little bit of extra effort is all that your
relationship needs!
"The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are."- unknown
We
actually kept this card to use as a reminder of how bad things can get, and
that with dedication, even the TOUGHEST
of times can be worked through! (We'll post an update with a photo for you in the future)
Try it!
So,
if you’re in a similar situation, and want to open lines of communication
again, give this a try! The initial message can state how the card is supposed
to work, followed by your first entry – why you love your spouse that day. BE
CREATIVE! Hide the card in their gym bag, their favorite book, underwear
drawer, or sneak out and tape it to their steering wheel. Remember, in the end,
it’s the effort the two of you put into fixing the communication issue that
will make your relationship stronger than it was before. I know in my case,
when we see things getting unnecessarily awkward, we are much quicker to talk
things out than we were before. Plus, sometimes, it’s just something nice to do
for the one that matters most to you.
Make the effort, do your part, fight to make your family better.
This is what we're all about.
Fight on friends! - The Warrior Family
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